toomuchagain // Best of Soulless!Sam Looking at these, I...

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When the liquor store's closed, hit the gas station.

Here you will find a lot of Supernatural, Misha Collins, MCR, some Panic!, and a smattering of other stuff like Doctor Who, Harry Potter, comic books, and random music sharing.

I'm sometimes a tad offensive, I get really, really excited over things I like, and I live in my own little world. I smoke, drink, and larp, and those aren't my only vices. I don't care about follow backs, so if you follow me, I will check you out, but won't necessarily follow, and if I follow you, I don't expect you to do the same.

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toomuchagain

Sometimes I write things

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Best of Soulless!Sam

Looking at these, I suddenly discovered a PROFOUND need for a story wherein Soulless!Sam and Cas are in a weird this-is-convenient/dependent-and-lonely-and-needing-a-Dean-stand-in relationship for the year Dean’s living with Lisa. Like, Crowley gets him in on the plan, and then reveals that he’s using Sam and Samuel to get the purgatory souls, and Cas is just so alone and lost, one day he’s staring at Dean mowing the lawn and he just can’t stand it anymore, so he zaps off to see Sam, and Sam pretends to care enough so Cas spills everything to him, and when Sam’s just like, “Well, yeah, okay, so I’m working for Crowley. That’s cool. This is actually a pretty good plan,” Cas is so relieved and just completely breaks and Sam goes along with it and they have desperate!rough!sex. And thereafter, Cas keeps coming back to him, because he’s not Dean, but he’s the closest thing he has.

And Cas knows something’s wrong, this Sam is not right, but he just can’t look into it too closely, because if he does, he’ll have to acknowledge that the thing he’s fucking isn’t even the thing that should be his Dean replacement. He’ll have to acknowledge that he failed. He’ll know that he’s failed Dean all over again, can’t even get his brother back right. And if he looks at it too closely, he’ll have to know that Sam didn’t walk away for Dean’s sake, he walked away because he didn’t care and it was easier and less messy. And then Cas will have to face the fact that he CAN go to Dean, anytime, that he’s not intruding and ruining Dean’s new perfect life. And Cas is just too afraid. Because at least this way, he has some logical excuse for not interrupting: He isn’t allowed to go to Dean, even Sam walked away, and Sam is the beginning and end of what’s good for Dean. So if Dean rejects him, it’s because of that, not because he doesn’t want anything to do with Cas. If Cas CAN go to Dean, and Dean rejects him, it’s because of Cas.

So Sam and Samuel and Cas all openly work with Crowley, until Exile on Main Street, and then there’s Dean, and Sam says, “Don’t tell him.” But Cas didn’t need to be told. He’s already terrified. He already knows Dean will be against The Plan. And that should tell him something about himself and Sam and how much he shouldn’t be doing all this, but he just can’t handle it. So he keeps fucking Sam, and he hides that just as hard. Dean kinda suspects something, but he’s just as afraid to touch that shitfest, so when Cas stands too close and he thinks he smells sex and Sam’s shampoo, his brain just barrels in the opposite direction as fast as it can.

Cas is hiding it hard, but he also sorta wants him to find out. Once it’s out in the open, it can stop. Dean can yell at him properly, tell him what a douche he is, tear him apart, break him down, and Cas deserves it so much. So he does let himself smell like sex and Sam, he does stand too close (even for him), and he’s not really careful about when or how publicly Sam pushes his face against a wall and fucks him raw.

(Source: itsfuuh, via abandonhip)

3 months ago

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